When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

I masturbate with sandpaper

Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.