browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.