When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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recycle the peanuts in my poop to make organic peanut butter

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I put toilet paper in first before i poop, so the water dosent splash me.

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Whenever I got hurt I used to just run like that would stop the pain

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When ever i hear music that i like i imagine im in a fight and i know martial arts with people i dont know

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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Whenever I go to close the door to my room, I give the wall opposite me a hard, intimidating stare just in case an invisible person was watching me.

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When I'm laying in bed and I feel my heartbeat, I turn around so I can't feel it because it makes me feel sick.

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I put the volume on my television so it is on any number divisible by five (5-10-15 etc. etc.)

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Scratch inside my ear, then lick the finger I used.

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Say ow when I bang something I'm caring into something, even though I didn't get hurt at all. -B

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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if I see submissions above mine get thumbs up but not mine I will put them down

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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Mix up "I'm starving," "I'm freezing," and "I have to pee," in my head, and then say them out loud the wrong way, in times of extreme starving/freezing/needing-to-pee desperation.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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I brush my teeth with the tap on because it sounds weird brushing in silence.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.