When theres a sex scene in the movie I like to jack off to see if I would last as long as the man -deadpool (yogurt)

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When someone is talking to me and I'm not really listening, when it gets quiet I say 'that's crazy' so they think I'm listening.

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Hit the enter key really hard when finishing a long piece of text that you have just written.

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when you have just ended a argument with someone and you think what else you could of said that would have been better to say

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When you're alone in a room and you have to turn on the TV so it's not as silent...

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I know it is pointless but still hope to get THUMBS UP

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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check shower for murder then pee

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When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

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I combine every item on my plate in all the possible ways, then i eat the worst part of the meal and save the best part til last.

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Trying on other people's clothes at the gym/laundromat when they ain't looking!! (^_^)

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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Wherever I drink something, I count how many times I swallow it, and I feel weird if it's not a multiple of 5. I will get more of the drink and drink it, even if I'm not thirsty, just to make my life seem a little more complete...PLEASE tell me I'm not the only one?

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Sit at your desk at work and think to yourself "is this it? I feel like I was meant for something bigger, like being an actor or a real life hero." then you look around you and feel bad because you feel like you dumped on everyone else who seem happy wih their lives. Then you go back to your boring desk job anyway.

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See a sexy girl, wanna go up and talk to her....cant think of anything cool to say and afraid of denial. Just me?

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Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

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Smell a fart and don't react until someone else does.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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If I'm alone, I'll imagine myself as somebody else an start acting as if I'm in a different life, complete with different people and places because in my imagination, I get to control what is going to happen next. Because, my imagination is way better than my reality.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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A lot of times I'll make up reasons for why different things happen even though I really have absolutely no idea.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.