Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Having sudden realizations that you are a person who exists.

After brushing my teeth I used to suck the water from it

I enjoy my company, I love myself, which is contagious, people around me enjoy my company, and love themselves. Moral: Thumb me down and prove you are a sad fuck TODAY!

In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

strt thinking about something spinning, then cant stop no matter how hard you try.

Trying not to fart when laughing is challenging.

join online argument even though you have no idea what the argument is about

after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

Sometimes when I'm sitting still I visualize myself being able to move myself using my mind.

When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

Take baths

Write angry notes into your search browser in case any Russian spies are watching.

Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

When a male dies and screams in pain in a movie, I feel normal about it. When a female does, I feel bad and want to help.

push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

In elementary school whenever it was supposed to be mental math I never did it mentally.

I suck my shirt without realizing im doing it until people tell me.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.