sing like a pro in da shower

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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I mute music videos and watch them to completely different music.

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I no longer trust any of my local news because they appear to have an agenda

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

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Vote for the other guy

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Judge a stranger in your mind (God, they're ugly/fat etc.) then wonder if they heard you thinking it.

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when playing games like grand theft auto I drive normally like all the other people in the game when i'm bored

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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Think your teacher is super hot and have a hard time concentrating in class . . . for the whole year.

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Click my teeth from side to side at the beat of songs

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Walk away in the middle of a sitcom and then play the rest out of the episode in your head while doing something else.

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Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

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taking a shit while brushing my teeth.

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Pick your dead skin then eat it.

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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Wonder if life is just a dream then get a creepy feeling and immediately think happier thoughts.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.