Eat my shed skin from a sunburn

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Wish that Mexicans would go to their OWN country and stop living tax free in OURS.

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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When my cat follows me, I pretend we're a pack or some sort of gang and i would be the leader.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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When I hear something that I could make a great comeback to (if it was directed towards me), I saw it under my breath just to feel full fiilled

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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resting your head from your face to your hand and then you realize you face now looks disfigured.

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Sitting on the toilet and feel devastated I forgot my smartphone and then spending the rest of my time on the toilet thinking about how boring it is without my smartphone.

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Pretending not to hear someone talk to you hoping they wont care enough to repeat themselves so you wont have to talk to them

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When walking on stairs, always counting how many of them there are.

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I flick my boogers on the carpet knowing that I can just vacuum them up later.

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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while i'm doing something,i think a suitable soundtrack for it.

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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when a sex scene comes on the tv i try make up an excuse to go somewhere like i need a drink or a pee.

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I wear my boxers so I can poop through the pee hole

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.