I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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It is really difficult for me to lose control of myself

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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When you can feel yourself blushing so you pretend to be preoccupied with something else.

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Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

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I hate when people say for example,if something is $3.99 they say its four dollars.

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Likes that girggle sound you make after a burp.

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Whenever I hear someones name being announced on a p.a., in a store for example....I say out loud 'never heard of him/her'

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Think about all of the germs that are on restroom doors and water taps.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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Feeling guilty for something you haven't done.

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turn the colour down on your tv and pretend what you are watching is an old movie

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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I feel like people next to me can read my mind so if I start thinking about something sexual it feels super awkward

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

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Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.