Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

thumb_up thumb_down -94

wonder if anyone is on at 12 A.M. log on to a social network and realize that theres a lot of people on

thumb_up thumb_down +77

I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

I make different scenarios for different songs I listen to. I pretend the walls and couches are people. I talk to them.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Pee in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Wipe drink can with shirt after someone (mainly father) has had a sip.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

thumb_up thumb_down -25

When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Dance in the car just so the person you like will see you and be like "Aw, cute" but then they don't even see you so you stop...

thumb_up thumb_down -25

On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

thumb_up thumb_down -29

On Youtube, while reading comments notice that many people reply angrily to the same person. Wonder what they said that pissed so many people off. Try to find them in earlier posts, but fail. Live the rest of the night in depressive state.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Reading these, realizing that you don't do some of the things on the top of the list, and wondering if you're weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Use the 0.3141592653589793238462643383279502884 second rule

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Get to lazy to stand up in the shower so I sit down in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Sittig on a table donating sperm to my friend gabe

thumb_up thumb_down -47

When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Sometimes I think about what I would do if I accidentally killed someone. I don't want to kill anyone, but if I did it accidentally. Would I call an ambulance, hide the body, confess to police, destroy evidence, etc?

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.