I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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I fantasize about my idol as I try to fall sleep at night. He's Michael Jackson.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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Not buying a product you might have otherwise been interested in simply because you think their TV ad is stupid.

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wish you looked like either Kellan Lutz or Bradley Cooper! I wish magic existed now.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I always get paranoid when I go to take a shit because I leave the computer on and somebody comes in the room where the computer is.

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I think source beggars are lazy pest that should be groin kicked

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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Go to someone's house and go and ask where something is and the person you ask just tells you without getting up (I know it doesn't go with the theme of this site but its just something annoying)

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When I'm in a public place with a lot of people, I sometimes imagine myself being an epic hero saving everyone there from a monster or some sort of bad guy.

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Stick my hand all the way to the bottom of a tub of grease.

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when i'm at the computer i say out of loud what i'm typing

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.