I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Time a song on my MP3 player to be the soundtrack to something I'm about to do, especially in public places.

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You like to think about how your favorite characters would react if you told them that they were fictional.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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try to find this website, but type in "thingsonlyyouthinkyoudo" or "thingsyouonlythinkyoudo" .. give up.. then google it instead.

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Pour the cheap shampoo I can only afford these days into the empty expensive bottle to trick myself I'm still using the good stuff.

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In case you have the ears pierced, take out the piece, and smell it, even if it smells so bad, you like the how it smells... lol

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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Randomly agree for the Terms of Service for just about everything on the internet. Then becoming very frightened at the thought that you have violated them in some way.

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When someone is reading something I have to read it at sonic speed in my head before they get to the end and if i dont do it in time I get angry.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Miss the bus, keep running pretending I was going somewhere else.

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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hug the pillow at night so it protects me from monsters

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Purposely scuff a shoe on pavement after the other scuffs by accident. Feel you scuffed this foot a little too much and so re-scuff the first to balance things out.

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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I violate and then kill people, all ages and kinds... ..:But everyone does that right? I mean... Lol, I just type that because I am insecure now, and I kill when I am insecure... ...Excuse me.

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Hatch an escape plan as soon as my date starts to complain about anything.

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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I want to suck on your penis

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.