The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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If some makes you mad you do things alot better than you would if you were not mad

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Try to make a sound described in a book or text (like a gasp or a gargle)

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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stare at someones face until they distort and then wonder why they are asking me why I'm smiling.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Whenever I Iook into the mirror, I think there's a second evil dimension.

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Sometimes when I watch live TV, I mute the TV when I get embarrassed at what is happening on screen to other people.

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When I step on something pokey, I don't say the quick "OW" that is expected, I go the extra syllable and a say "JOW!"

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After washing butt, turn my butt towards the shower and spread butt cheeks apart to wash the soap out of my crack.

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I always paranoidly think that someone else might see what I see through my eyes he can't hear what I hear and he can't smell what I smell he can only see and if I close my eyes he falls asleep automatically I try to avoid thinking this but that's impossible

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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I can't stop watching ST:DS9, (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine) It's so awesome, but then I just, (the same thing happens with whatever T.V. show i watch) GET COMPLETELY OBSESSED with it.

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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I lie in bed and when I get bored I try to convince myself that I'm lying at the other end

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I sometimes want to eat spaghetti with my hands, but for whatever reason have never done it...

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When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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watch old shows I used to watch when I was younger

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i would air drum even if theres no music playing

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I see some one I have a crush on in the hallway and I walk towards them and brush my arm against them and be like OMG I TOUCHED HER!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.