I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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I hate other people's mirrors, they make me look different

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after a shower, try to shake the water off.

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you look at someone and they look toward you and you look away quickly then you look back to see if they are still looking.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Cross the street or go some other way to avoid the awkward moment of long lasting side by side walking (a move known as the 'overtake') when walking right behind someone who is slightly slower than you.

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Try to balance on and off on the light switch.

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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Hearing someone say something but saying "what" because you need more time to think of an answer

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Made after doomsday plans

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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Thinking of something but got distracted for a few seconds. After that, I forgot what was I thinking about.

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Not wanting to think about something but your brain thinks about it because you are trying not to think about it so much.

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Play Minecraft

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when walking up to an automatic door, you sweep your hand towards to the door when it opens, you feel like the Force is with you.

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Doing a little dance after having sex because your so proud you're a FATHER!!! - Uncle Jerrett

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Create scenarios when you are standing around/ waiting for someone in public (ie. pretending you are sending a text to someone), in fear of what people may think if they see you standing around doing nothing.

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Seriously I am tired but, I read the fucking solvemedia stating "forget this", then I stood there for a moment having just forgot what I was supposed to type. "Was I not supposed to forget what I just read?" Nero: BRAINWASHING! FORGET THIS AND LET ME SPEAK TO YOUR MOTHER! IM LEUTANANT BANGUS YOUR MUTHERUS YOU IDIOT!

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Put toilet paper on the seat in my own house.

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Watching movies about couples with age gaps and woundering how it would feel like to be with somebody much older (or younger) than you. Would they use viagra or would you not even try to have sex with someone so old and delicate?

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Trying to recreate all facial expressions of people on television, even animated ones!

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.