Use head & "Shoulders" for pubic hair

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When ever my boyfriend doesn't reply to a text for a few hours I always imagine a worse case scenario and end up crying hystaricaly.

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When I woke up this morning I was asleep.

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Worry that I'm will go schizophrenic.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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I feel like my blanket is an indestructible shield against any monsters that might try to get me at night. If any part of you is out of the covers, you're screwed. lol -ML

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look at old toys from when you were a kid and remember how they taste.

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think about what im gonna say abillon times in my head before i say it -jesse

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Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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stop the microwave when I hear the food popping

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get embarrassed when someone is in the public bathroom, and your shit makes a splash in the toilet

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Singing alone in the car and then stopping, scared that there is an audio recorder in the car recording you singing.

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Liking your own posts to make it seem like at least 1 person likes you. thinking that maybe someone will be slightly compelled to like it because someone already did.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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turning up the volume in your car when theres a car next to you blasting a terrible song.

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.don't like something because being scared that it appears on my wall.

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Counting the lines on the street as they pass the edge of your cars window.

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Blast yur music in the car when you are alone but when someone pulls up next to you u turn it down so u don't make them think yur an ass

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Putting your bra on your dogs dead

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When I see that someone else is typing while I'm texting them, I try to quickly finish what I'm typing and send it so that I won't have to change my response.

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Imagine the perfect video game and wonder why nobody made it yet.

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Never write LOL on a text message, because you don't want to sound too extreme

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When I remember something embarrassing I did or even something someone else did, I will yell random words. It started just with gasping but now I have like 5 words that I'll say randomly. It's evolved to include stressful or disturbing thoughts and not just embarrassing things. I have a pretty stressful life so I'm basically continuously making random sounds then looking around terrified that someone's heard.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.