sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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when you kill a bug you act like a god and yell something before you kill it

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sneeze without closing my eyes

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The volume level on my TV has to be either an even number or a multiple of five.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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I practice my signature on a piece of paper over and over again. Even though my signature has never changed.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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get some of the lyrics to a song wrong. you know theyre wrong, but continue to sing the wrong words anyway, because the real words just don't seem to fit.

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When on a sidewalk I always try to make my last step on the block with my left foot.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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when you're microwaving something and you have to pee, you run to the bathroom. then you run back to see if there is still time left before the "bomb" goes off.

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ur parents never pay attention to u but when they do they r yelling at u

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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when i piss in the toilet, i flush half way through and race the toilet to the finish.

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.