- Things You Think Only You Do

interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

I pick a green crayon from crayon box but it's one of those yellow-greens that look yellow and now my clover will be half yellow forever.

I sit sideways on the toilet because my bony butt fits better that way.

Fart at work when I'm pretty sure no one will come to that area soon.

When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

Avoid as many television commercials as I can

When I'm in the shower I condition my pubes so they get nice and soft.

Forgetting the same word over and over again and having a spaz attack when you can't remember it for more than a couple of seconds.

sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

Archer's Pam poovey, Lana Kane and Malory makes me horny

Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

misread dig bick

My dreams are almost always bizarre in some way - the only time they're ever normal is when they're the premonition type, and then they're about completely uneventful things but accurate down to the tiniest detail.

Pass wind after i ate lasagna.

when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

Remember some homework I have to do... On the day that it's due.

When at a red you watch the light real close and as soon as it turns green you try to beat the other cars to the other side of intersection

Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

call someone by a siblings name.

When watching the news and see all those children and other innocent people die at wars, in my mind I shout at God and ask him why he doesn't give me the sign and my powers to save the world. J.C.

Sometimes when walking, accidently fart and then try to squeak my to sound like my shoes squeaked instead of me farting.

act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.