when you dont know what someone said so you just awkwardly start laughing and it turns out not to be funny.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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I have seen a UFO

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Sometimes when I'm excitedly hurrying out of the house, I skip for a brief moment.

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Fap and when you're done you feel ashamed and feel like you're wasting your life lol

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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When I was younger I used to think that Red bull was a drink that really did give you wings like they show in the commercials

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Ur mum

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At the store then mom leaves to get something then u start panicking as the cashier begins paying and you thing she will charge yo already

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Race the microwave. Not literally, by the way.

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After a meal if I need to use a toothpick I would eat the piece of food I "picked".

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I wonder why people were happy after the last election

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Sometimes when I go to a drive in restaurant, and get an order of fries, I empty the bag out, and there are a few fries in the bottom of the bag. I Enjoy those the most, as I feel they were free

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At school I go along with the norm even though inside I HATE it!!!!

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realize you are saying your thoughts outloud.

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when someone asks you to not listen to they conversation and your listening to music at the same time, in the same room and when they have that conversation, you pretend to listen to your music.

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Act as if you don't notice her, but you really are dying to take another look at her.

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Telling yourself that starting tomorrow you will start to exercise and eat better, but never doing it.

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When walking into a smelly bathroom, hold your breath so you don't have to breathe in the poo air.

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I like making subliminal messages (givemeyourmoney)

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When I am talking about someone, I check my phone to make sure it hasn't dialed them and to make sure they aren't listening.

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Pretend to cough in class so other people could pretend to cough

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Being able to scare people by awkwardly standing behind them

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Cough, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.