Rinse off salted nuts before eating them

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Try to give my download speed moral support: "You can do it! YES, just stay there!" For anyone out there struggling with slow internet.. I feel your pain

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i want to FAWK the SHYT out of that girl

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When I make croissants from the Pillsbury can, I'll take one of the little triangles and eat it, because I like the consistency of dough, and i like the fizzy feeling of the yeast on my tongue.

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Checking out peoples cars to try and figure out what kind of driver they are.

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Start thinking about how your walking, and then worry that you may lose control of your legs and fall.

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I often force my mind to think that i'm slowing down time at will just to feel awesome (like when walking down the street i try to make the all cars slow down).

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You come across a movie on network television, you own it, you can see the DVD on the shelf, it would take you less then 30 seconds to put the DVD on, instead you watch it on that station, commercials and all.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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If I have my computer and I have to do something quietly (because there are other people about) I hear music in heaphones, just so it seems to myself that I'm more discreet, as I can't hear myself.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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when watching a movie or tv show, i think i am the main character and when it does somthing stupid i become embaressed

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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When I go to somewhere like France I always wittily comment to my friend " oh look at all those bloody foreigners as I have always thought they were tougher on immigrants

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Use é instead of e to spell Pokémon

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I eat ass

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.