I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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Looking outside the window and imagining a huge explosion destroy everything and then u surviving and trying to find a way to survive

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When I'm in the shower, I talk to myself, usually about my plans for video game procedures.

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Cover the built in webcam on my laptop when I'm using it with a folded piece of paper just in case

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dont wash hands for the recommended 30 seconds

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I wish I can go somewhere where there is no influences trying to get me to buy a product or be a certain way

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I used to drive home from my girlfriend's house late at night and stop on a stretch of road to take a leak. I'd walk backwards while peeing, creating a crooked line of pee in the road. I'd add to it night after night, then I'd drive by in the day to see my long pee stain in the road only I knew about. Anyone who passed by could see it, but only I knew what it was. It would last until the next rain and I'd have to start over.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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I have to put the radio volume in multiples of three and my daughter has to put it in multiples of five so when we are together it either has to be on 15 or 30.

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Trace the letters on the front of your textbooks with your finger.

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When i see people even strangers , in my mind i wonder if there virgins or not .

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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Spend several minutes to write a comment on a website, only to decide not no submit it after all.

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I don't like Winter. Because I'm scared that when we use the heater, our house will catch on fire.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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I don't care about gender stereotypes. Moral: If I want to like Pink unicorns I will like them!

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I refuse to forward chain letters

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.