Sometimes, after I say "bye" to a person on facebook, I wait a few seconds before I log off so that it seems like I said "bye" to other people too. Because I'm just that popular.

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When I'm in the shower I act like I'm filming a music video.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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smile when you find out that the things you only do is right.

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I am sure that no one else has the same mental slowness as me and my brother. When I say mauve he says maeve and we continue like this for hours. It is certainly an exciting way of eating up those motorway miles:)

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Make a screeching noise with my mouth as I go around corners in my car too fast.

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Read and laugh at about any top comment here... because it happens to me too.

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I wonder if a blind person knows how colors look?

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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In school trying to do a small fart because it really hurting and suddnly a earthquake happens

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I try to eat my favorite foods slowly so I can enjoy the taste, but end up eating it really fast anyways

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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repeat what you just said 2 seconds ago in a group conversation thinking no one heard you

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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daydream/pretend i'm in a story. pretend to be a new person in a movie where all the cool main characters are my friends, add to the movie with my own story and add twists and make it my own.

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When you accidentally like get something on your hand so you go to wash it off but feel compelled to wash your other hand too even if it's not dirty

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Ever played the sims, then wondered if you were just apart of a game and that maybe someone is controlling YOUR every move? Yeah. Me too.

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sometime i poop in my hand, then put it in the toilet so it makes less noise and the water doesn't splash up my butt.

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im going to kill that person and get away with it

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.