Stop at traffic lights thinking it will close soon, when actually remains only 5s to close second and u run like crazy.

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always hurt urself and blame the object for hurting u

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Convince yourself that all of your friends are partying together without you when they dont respond to your text messages.

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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I think of unbelievably perverted things seconds before I am about to cum when masturbating.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Coughing really loud to cover up the sound of your fart, then shitting your pants.

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I can't trill my R's

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I rub the ends of my hair because it feels awesome.

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Shutting the fridge door slowly just to see the light shut off.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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Talk to my cat.

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get really confused

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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I sit in my sink and pretend that I am water.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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When I am doing something that involves using one hand I feel weird because I don't know what to do with my other hand

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disgusted by people that are obsessed with poo and pee

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Naming every pet you've ever owned Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.