I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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I type a comment here and secretly feel special

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Getting bored when a page is loading and scrolling the wheel on your mouse back and forth one click.

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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I split my gum in half so I can chew on both sides.

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When climbing onto an escalator, I cannot just step on it and go, I have to mentally prepare myself and time my steps to get on, especially if it's going down, cause I'm terrified I will fall off... I usually end up irritating the people behind me trying to get on, as it takes me almost 10 to 15 seconds to find the right step.. And also, I cannot touch the escalator's sides.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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Doing something private and think "What if my mom/dad/boss etc. saw me now?"

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Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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I sleep in my underpants every single night

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Thinking you can do parkour even when you cant and the have a friend over and try to show off

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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On YouTube , I try to find the clearest music

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Check the toilet paper after every wipe.

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Cuss my ass off in the morning - jd

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I have walked into a sliding glass door

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When I am about to thumb up a comment here that has not happened to me, I first stop myself thinking "but that has not happened to me" then I remember I thumb up comments just because I like them and proceed to do so most of the times

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I have memorized most commercials and recite them when they come on the tv.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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While driving out in the country area, I am secretly looking for Squatch

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.