Go to the kitchen to eat, forget what I'm doing, go back to whatever I was doing, and realizing that I'm hungry.

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KICK THE CAN

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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When driving and a song come on about death I switch the station because i'm afraid its going to happen to me

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Thinking about what other poeple are doing right now... Like someone solving world hunger and your sitting there playing games and having fun with friends that are nice and healthy.

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Only read the shortest sentences on "Things You Think Only You Do". More than 2 sentences I skip.

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I sit on the toilet and pretend to tell someone about how awesome my life is when it isn't.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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When riding in a car I pump my arms to pretend I'm running at an incredible rate.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Whenever I see a girl, I always do the math for how good they would be for banging

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Look at pictures of people who lived a long time ago and wonder how they lived without television and the Internet.

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I eat ass

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When I notice that I have just breathed in/out, for the next minute or so I feel like I have to make a conscious effort to keep breathing.

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imagine shooting lasers out from the car and bouncing them of walls and back to the car

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I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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I somtimes think about what I would o if I had a wish and I go into a lot of detail about it in my head and then realize it will never actually happen

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Talk to my cat.

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.