misread dig bick

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fist myself to the point of unconsciousness whilst masturbating to the speeches of Hitler

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When you're having a discussion or an argument with someone and you are about to say something important then you completely forget what you were going to say.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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See a news article that looks interesting, too lazy to read the whole thing. Skim.

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Realizes there is less toilet paper than first thought. Hobbles across bathroom to find more. Failure. Take shower.

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open the fridge A eat food B think

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When going to the bathroom, lock it and when trying to unlock and don't succeed immediately... ITS A TRAP! I'M LOCKED IN MY OWN BATHROOM!!

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Fart after someone else farts sop that no one will know you did too.

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Walk next to someone so you don't look too lonely.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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draw pictures on the mirror from the shower steam

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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Spending the night at someone's house and waking up and thinking your at your house then realizing your not

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Get a mini heart attack when your rocking on your chair and you nearly fall off

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I cannot f***ing believe how many of these i do... and now i feel out of place

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place all your achievements in your room to impress your friends

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Feel all cool and look suspiciously at everybody else while leaving the theater after a good dramatic movie.

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I brush my teeth in the shower and use the shower for a waterpik.

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I T-bag my teammates in MW3 when they die.

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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When reading something you have different voices for the characters/people.

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pluck dried pieces of poop in your butt hair

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when I have an itch on my hand I scratch it with my stubble

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.