I'm so used to pooping with my phone that everytime I forget it I take less than 5 minutes, versus the usual 26.

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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When my friends talk bout a show they ask did u see the one where they did this and I nod even thow I have no idea what they're talking about

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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I sometimes have bad dreams that for some reason I don't want to wake up from because I just want to see what happens next

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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Sometimes I make awkward eye contact with strangers. And I quickly look away. And then I look back. And then look away again. And I keep being compelled to stare awkwardly at the random stranger for no reason.

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When taking a dump in a public restroom, if someone else walks in, I wait until they leave the restroom before finishing up and leaving the stall, just to make sure they don't see who I am.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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Cover up the webcam on my laptop because I think someone might be watching me through it.

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Take everything out of the fridge, and climb in it, and pretend your in a time capsule.

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Am i the only one who noticed that the title of this page has a grammatical error?

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When out I like to "people watch."

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Waste time looking all over for something and notice it is right where it should be.

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if something stands for something, i come up with my own version of it.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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I feel no shame that I am a camgirl online and bring in about $2800 a month just to flash guys my boobs. :)

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Sometimes, when I like something on a certain website and see that someone else on my facebook friend's list likes it as well, I think that they're stalking me.

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The last meal I have before I get on a plane - I think about how it is food in one city and will be crapped out in another.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.