Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I only make the tv volume in multiples of 5.

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I like to swallow great ammounts of water just to make the loud "clunk" sound in my throat.

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When I use deodorant, I flap my arms like a chicken a couple of times to get some air moving under there...

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Constantly looking up at a Facebook tab while on another tab to see if you have any notifications or messages.

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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pretend you died to see what your dog would do.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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Living in the shadow of an atheletic friend, and secretly wanting to beat them up just to prove that you're as good as they are.

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watch cartoons even though most of my friends don't

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Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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getting excited when you find a recycled tissue in your robe/sweatshirt so you don't know have to get up to get one yourself?

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In britain,everytime i see a magpie i got to do this silly ritual and salute and say good morning mr magpie (depending on wat time of day it is) and make sure 2 ppl see it at the same time or something bad will happen.then someone will tell me another one i should do and i add it on! Its never ending.

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Look at the clock to realize that it seems like the "second" hand is taking longer on the number its on right when you look at it, and/or you looked at the clock at the absolute perfect time. And it happens frequently..

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.