Turn the fan and/or sink on in the bathroom to drown out the noise from masturbating.

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Naming you're offspring Peter Jankins

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whenever you walk into the bathroom with your phone/laptop/electronic device you stay sitting on the toilet even though you are done because you are so engaged with whatever you are doing

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Writing d as b and b as d or p as q

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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When a song comes on that i hate on the radio, i sing along with it because i know the lyrics. (Example: something by Justtin bieber D:)

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Count the amount of birthday wishes on your facebook page, and compare it to other friends birthdays.

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wake up in the middle of the night and write your dream if you like it. Or just write all night and dont sleep all night for days at a time.

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Whenever I send or receive texts, I always make it a point to have more received texts than sent ones. It makes me feel popular.

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Read weird posts like this one on the HorseHead Network.

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type "haha" because lol is too gay...but slip sometimes and type lol anyway lol....

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every single time a sad song comes on your ipod you imagine yourself in a movie, gloomily looking out a window or sitting alone on a bench.

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imagine killing someone by accident and feeling really guilty about it.

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I can't drink while I'm walking I have to stop.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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I wonder sometimes if I've ever met my future self.

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When im in a public toilet, i try not to make any sounds when taking a crap, not even a fart, so that when i come out no one will think i was taking a crap.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I randomly highlight stuff when I'm reading something, only to click outside of the text so I can actually read it.

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Stalk boyfriend's facebook, go to everything he's commented on, and comment too.

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Watching a movie with bugs in it and instantly feeling that shivery 'holy sh*t there are bugs on me' feeling.

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Listen to music while browsing the internet, having facebook open in another tab, and randomly you hear facebook message sounds, even though they aren't really there.

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At the peak of orgasm, i used to think that im making out with someone else (like my crush) to make me cum.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.