I have seen a UFO

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to a random person having a conversation with them (in the car for instance) I imagine myself reaching out and holding their hand. I then get super embarrassed just for having the thought.

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Before i go to sleep, i imagine all the things i would like to happen in the future, and hoping it comes true or ill dream of it

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Smelling your armpits to see if you smell and then disguising at as yawn/stretch

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Sometimes I like to count the amount of steps it takes to get upstairs/downstairs. Then I realize that the number is never the same.

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Get excited when the clock reads 12:34. especially when its a digital that can also read 12:34.56.

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Cannot even read a word when a blonde lady sits in front of me in a library.

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I smell or rinse cups before I put water in them. Even if they are clean.

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Check an insane amount of times to see if the door is locked, then finally get back to jerking off.

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Watching tv with family/friends and laughing at something on the show, and then feeling awkward because no one else laughed.

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I am convinced that nobody had opened bacon or packets of ham with the flappy corner because it dosnt work!! So i get a knife and saw it out.

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Take baths

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I eat one way in public and another way in private.

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Buy something and try to save it for an event of some kind and end up failing to do so, every darn time too.

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Develop a really weird sleeping pattern in the summer, for example going to bed a 5 A.M. and waking in the early afternoon.

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I shove food in my face like an animal when I'm home alone instead of eating like a normal person.

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Wondering how you look to other people and adjusting your clothes and posture so you don't feel as unatractive as you think you are, but aren't.

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setting your alarm early so that when you wake up you see you still have time to sleep and you're like YES!!!

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getting self conscious when wearing a hoodie because you start pitting out and you can start to smell BO...

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When I post something on this site, I always do the thumb up at my own post.

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When I'm on Facebook, I don't like anything in my news feed thats older then 15 minutes or else i'll feel like they think ima creeping on them.

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I aphabeticalize my shoes

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Pronounce hors d'oeuvres 'horse-dev-ers' thinking I'm so witty.

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When I'm cooking, I mumble everything I'm doing under my breath like I'm in a cooking show and I'm talking to the audience.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.