Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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When the car ride is silent, I wink with my right eye when I pass a sign on the right, and the opposite for the left. And then when there's a double yellow line, I close my eyes.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Sometimes I forget that there are spiders in my bedroom, so after I've seen one I can't sleep for several days for fear that they'll eat me if I do. Then I forget about them again and thus the cycle starts.

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when bored, i imagine my EXACT plan for the zombie apocalypse, down to what would look cool if i was walking down a desolate street ( i am legend style) :D

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I use two pillows as I sleep, but I don't put them under my head, I put my head in between them.

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When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Okay so probably like everyone else, when Schapelle Corby was found with drugs on her in bali I thought she was innocent but now since she was let out of the prison I am wondering if she did do it?

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I talk to myself while playing games so I don't feel lonley!

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i just sit there thinking, how is it not butter?

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When I get a worksheet or a piece of paper with BIG TITLES I immediately shade in all of the gaps in the o's, p's, d's and all other 'hole letters'. And then I start shading in all the words when I finish.

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slow down in front of automatic doors thinking they won't open and then rushing through when they do so you don't look stupid

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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Wake up, unnaturally hungry, make meal fit for a king.

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I always think I have special powers

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DAS RITE MODERFOCKER! NOWUN MESSIS WIF FIRLUPE!!' (throws wine in face)

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I have had a dream where my teeth fall out.

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When it's 12:59 or 4:59 or something:59, I don't let myself blink/breathe until it's 1:00 or 5:00 or something:00. Anyone?

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When I was a little kid and something scared me (i.e. feel like being watched when I walked through the forest in the dark) I began to sing... and then I felt somehow protected. Weird, isn`t it?

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Say what even when u heard someone

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.