I like to eat grilled cheese with ketchup

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Check my underwear for any sh!t from farts (yes, sometimes my shit comes with a fart) captcha: royal flush

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When i play a video game and make some stupid noobish action including suiciding or playing in a lame way, i make sure that if somehow someone sees my screen, he/she notices why i do so.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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look around my house for something to do for what feels like an hour then look back at a clock to realize thats its only been 4 minutes

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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When I let water out the bath I swish the water so it makes a little whirlpool

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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When im going from one room to the next, i try and get into the other room before the door to the last room closes. If i do, I've won.

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Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Awkward moment... Pretend to send a text.

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See a ridiculously hot girl and wonder to myself "who is the guy who gets to have sex with her. And why does she like him?" As if that can help me bag an equally hotter girl.

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Sunday's are making me feel depressed.

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When I watch a movie that terrifies me, I usually find myself sitting on the sofa with a kitchen knife in my hand at the end of the movie.

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Look at restaurant signs and realize the font isnt as fancy as you once thought

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Pubic hair wishes... While on the toilet you try to pull out a hair... If it comes out close your eyes and make a wish....and throw it into the toilet... Flush... Repeat!

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When I go to use my laptop if my cat is sleeping in my chair I would use it somewhere else and leave her alone.

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When you are looking over someones shoulder and they look at you thinking you are staring at them so you suddenly turn your head

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Looking up 'How to tell if your crush likes you' to get assurance that he/she loves you

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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get really embarrassed when i leave the book i read when i poop on the bathroom counter and someone uses the bathroom.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.