When an awkward situation arises, pull out my phone and aimlessly flip through the apps to pretend I'm busy doing something

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Sometimes I lie in bed and wonder what the house would look like upside down.

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Think about the things you could do with you had the power to stop the time.

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Hold your breath when you go in bridge tunnels and compete against your friends to see who can last longer.

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Clench your butt super hard to slowly let out a fart thinking no one will know.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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I talk to myself when I'm alone

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I sometimes see or think of words and pronounce them differently. ie. Garbage, gar-bah-ge ("ge" like a vibration sound), Target, tar-jhay

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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I always think I have special powers

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Walking into the little door at the store that people put the carts though.

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After waking up from being extremely intoxicated the night before, i check my phone and ALL my accounts on the internet to make sure i didnt make an ass of myself.

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Wonder if anyone doesn't actually talk to themselves for some reason or another at some point in their life. (If so, how can talking to yourself be the first sign of madness? So many people do it...)

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I rearrange books, movies, etc. in the correct alphabetical order in the fiction section of my public library, other people's houses, classrooms at school, etc. Sometimes this process takes a very long time.

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Wearing cheap CZ rings to either stop guys hitting on me or pretend I'm engaged.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with and so always talk about Penge North Korea beige mauve and medium density fiberboard. This explains why I'm such a popular guy

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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I eat spoons of dry hot chocolate powder when nobody is around.

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Say 'she's not here' when someone that I don't know calls and asks for me.

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Read for hours... then hear a narrative for everything you do after you stop reading. for ex: "Jen gets out of the car, shutting it with a loud bang. She walks towards the house, noticing the dead squirrel in the road."

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when I have to shred important documents I am still not satisfied that I even burn the shredded paper

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Sometimes I kiss my hand and pretend it's a person I like.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.