Scratch my ass/armpit and HAVE to smell it.

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Download a new app, and say to myself I'll never stop playing it. Play it for 2 hours and forget about it.

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Like a toy until it breaks.

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Take out all the marshmallows in a bowl of Lucky Charms, eat the "cat food" (the dry cereal that looks like dry kitty food!), then put the marshmallows back in the milk and eat them!

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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whenever there is a person I really, really hate, I imagion them dying in a cruel and painful way.

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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When i feel the back of my right hand starting to itch. in a few days, i get some money. When the back of my left hand itches.Some money goes.

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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I laugh easier when im with someone

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When I am in a car i always think there is massive swords coming out the edge of the car and make everything the same length up

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go on a diet, buy a lot of healthy food, eat it all the same day. 2 weeks later repeat.

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Sometimes when it's very windy, i Loudly yell "Stop". The Wind most often seem to lower it's intensity or completely blow off.

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I daydream and consequently spend twenty minutes having a dump

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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I take pains to be Anti-Democrat and Anti-Republican. Because both parties are really gross money & career machines beholden to industry. I really am middle-of-the-road on lots of issues. even though I don't understand what the fuck makes an intelligent conservative tick. but I may just be biased because it's all neo-cons on the news. idk.

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I never let anything go over the toilet when It's open.

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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After you wipe your butt and crotch with a towel, you dont want the towel to touch your face. Next night, dry your face and head first.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.