Reach past the first two or three slices of bread to get the better, fresher bread towards the middle.

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Things I did when I was little: Slowly close the fridge door to see the light go out before it is closed all of the way. Put the light switch in between "OFF" and "ON". Walked in to a room and forgot why, walked out then remembered. (STILL DO!) Drew the sun in the corner of the paper. Put a flashlight in your mouth to see yourself, "blush".

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Sweep up the dirt into the dustpan and sweep the stuff you can't get under the cabinet.

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Whenever I order a lot of food at a fast food place for myself, I order an extra drink just so they think it's for two people.

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Think of numbers as male or female.

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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Wish that Mexicans would go ruin their own country instead of ruin ours.

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never feel sad enough after being told a sad story

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Turn the light off, run, and JUMP into bed. I'm 26.

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When I'm at the checkout and paying with my card, I try to put my PIN in the card machine before the cashier has a chance to tell me to do it.

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Sometimes when you are looking down at a book or something you look up because you think you saw a person. Nope it was a tall lamp with a coat hung on it. Find youself periodically looking up every 5 minutes to make sure.

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pissing really fast to remove shit stains in the toilet

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When making something I pretend I'm making a YouTube video of it and pretend I am getting lots of views

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I think SpongeBob and Patrick are rude, inconsiderate a_holes. ... That's right, I'm an adult and I watch SpongeBob. lol

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Picking your nose to get rid of that annoying whistling in your nose when you breathe.

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clean specks of sh*t in the toilet by peeing on it.

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When someone sits with crossed legs, I notice their lifted foot throb slightly with their pulse. It is really distracting sometimes.

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When I aak someone out it takes me 3-6 attempts to get the words out

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Search "sex" whenever you see a dictionary.

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say to my friend do you ever think that someone else is thinking the same thing that they are thinking at this moment in time and then SHYT in there mouth. Normally they gurggle it in their throat, before swallowing it and making a pedo face, and sometimes i bike naked and shit on cars with diorrea so it explodes on the windows.

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outside in the dark see a face in the tree thinks its bigfoot come to get me!

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I look for comments in this site that are on or close to 0 so that when i like or dislike them, i make a difference to the outcome :)

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When I'm in a room with other people, no matter who they are, I make myself choose the person I would tolerate the best having sex with just in case of a disaster and we need to procreate.

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put an excessive amount of lead in your pencil

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.