get so shitfaced you wake up in a closet with piss everywhere

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whenever I play I spy I always use very specific things I spy for example if I would say something starting with D and it would be for dust

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Try to think of as many as my female friends as literally possible while masturbating. Rapid Fire envisioning each one I can think of - regardless of their attractiveness - taking my load in one place or another, until I actually cum.

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Thinking our singing voices are amazing, until we record it and play it back.

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On Youtube. Moving the mouse cursor over the video thumbnails thinking it will display different snap shots from the video. And realizing what a guy I am...

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When on a boring car ride, add up all the numbers on the licence plates I see.

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Before I go to sleep, I imagine what it would be like dating a really hot actor or singer and think of dramatic scenarios that could happen.

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Not sure if im holding on to fart or shit

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Sitting next to a banana called James

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Apply hand sanitizer after fapping.

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bounce when your tip toeing.

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Still can't walk on cracks. If I step on the crack with one foot, the other has to as well.

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Whenever I do something I want to tell someone about, I have to whisper it to myself before I tell them.

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I count how many steps it takes to cross a section of sidewalk, and will continue taking the same amount of steps until I realize it.

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I use my phone's auto-correct to make sure the words I'm writing are correct.

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Not laughing at funny things on T.V. because nobody is around.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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when watching a movie in a big screen cinema, i unconsciously look at the bottom of the screen, midway through the movie, expecting to see a time/track/scroll bar. as if it was VLC media player.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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i draw pictures of pokemon on comments (\____/) (??????)

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When alone in a public restroom, after using the toilet I kick the lever and run away out of fear that it will splash on me.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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I keep thinking a thing is about to fall from the table even though it's not close to the edge

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.