Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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When you're in your late teens, you blare the car stereo when driving near girls that are walking. When you grow up, you turn the radio down in fear that you look like a tool bag.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I read your stuff at the interwebs and think "sons, I am disappoint" Moral: Lol, I just might be your father you know... But that does not mean you disappoint me anymore, I kinda expect your worst? Best? I mean... Are you doing your worst on purpose? WOW!

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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When I'm getting shouted out i blur my eyes and think of something else :3

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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After reading certain things on this website, I try them to see if they work.

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Laying in bed kind of hungry, knowing exactly what you want to eat, and going over all the steps involved (going all the way to the kitchen, making the food, cleaning up, going all the way back to your room, plus it's nighttime and something might get you) and trying to decide whether or not it's worth it to go eat now or just wait until you wake up.

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If there is a big spider in the house I will act cool and take it out even though inside I'm screaming

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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when u were younger and closed the fridge door super slowly 2 c when the light turned off

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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Any time I hear someone speaking with an accent, I start mimicking that accident. –Ikka

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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i cannot watch horror films that have blood in it for fear of nightmares

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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When I read something someone you know has written I read it in their voice.

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Put your feet up on the wall when you can't get to sleep

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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I avoid my wealthy but cool relatives because I don't want them to think I want money

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Sometime if I need to go I would go outside so I don't splash the seat

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.