I sometimes wonder what my past self would do differently if it knew what would be going on now

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Flush the toilet right before done peeing so when you're done, the toilet and your pee has been flushed.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I'm starting to ignore Hollywood, the news and experts opinions more and more.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When I wanted to sit on chair or anything, I'll wipe them first, in case there is something sticked on them

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stand in front of a mirror with your headphones in, and lip sync the words of the song playing to pretend you are singing in a music video

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After eating a lot of junk food begin to fear that i'm going to get diabetes.

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When I'm about to fart, I close my butthole with cupped hand to smell my own fart. Sometimes after I fart, I bend down just to smell the scent.

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when being in the bathroom at night, avoid looking in the mirror

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Go outside and pee.

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Smile like a damn dork when I watch romantic movies.

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oh snap, i got a boner. hope nobody notices

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Use an entirely different vocabulary in your head than everyday life.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.