Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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When I go to the bathroom I put toilet paper over my penis and pretend its a ghost

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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Opens new book to random page. Reads snippet. Smiles to myself when I reach it 1 week later. -epsin

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Think that everything has feelings for example, a cushion or a tree

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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whenever I come across a website like this, I try to read through every post as fast as I can. When I reach the end, I feel like I accomplished something but sad I have no more to read.

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I pee in the water of the toilet to make bubbles

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Saying or doing something stupid, then later replaying it in your head and wanting to punch yourself in the face for it, then coming up with different ideas on how you could have been less stupid. -B

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I really like taking shits.

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during texting you set your phone in your lap right before a car is about to pass you so they dont see you texting and driving

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Write things on this site, because i cant sleep

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.