If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I sometimes rub my scalp rapidly and watch my dandruff fall down like snow.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

thumb_up thumb_down -72

shag your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -90

cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

thumb_up thumb_down +61

After watching a movie, always walk out the theatre feeling like a total bad ass

thumb_up thumb_down -59

I ejaculate fire and glory

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

thumb_up thumb_down -87

When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

thumb_up thumb_down -125

Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

thumb_up thumb_down -64

popping the lenses out of 3D glasses and wearing them when your doing homework or studying because it makes you feel smarter.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -72

Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

thumb_up thumb_down -130

go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

thumb_up thumb_down +45

When watching a heavy action movie and you suddenly start thinking about how much it would cost to repair the damages made in the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

thumb_up thumb_down -129

You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

When in long car rides I imagine a little man running or on roller skates next to the car. When A car comes he turns into a ninja and can slide under/jump over or cut the car in half.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

thumb_up thumb_down -66

Find different ways to crack your knuckles when you're bored. (I have found 7 ways to crack a finger and I can crackj my hand back

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whatever situation I am in, I always start to invent rhythms with everything i have around, e.g. my legs, voice, tables or sometimes even the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -59

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.