Having cool food in your house and knowing your boyfriend is going to call you around 6 or so, so you start eating said awesome food at about 5:57. That way when your boyfriend asks what you're doing to can tell him you're eating _____ and he'll want to come over.

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Don't have to poop for a week until I get in the shower

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Contract my gluteus maximus while sitting for a long time to feel more comfortable.

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I have a cat that drops on it's side when she sees me coming

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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run up the stairs when its night so that the monsters dont catch you

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Spray my perfume under my arms so if I sweat then it smells like perfume.

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Get annoyed when you are making a new account and it sends you bafk because of credit card or email address

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Fart when i'm alone RIGHT before someone walks in... try to talk over the smell...

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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When I have a bottle in my hand and nothing to do in class. I read the nutrition facts and ingredients 2 to 4 times until the teacher says something.

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Skip peeing before bed because you dont feel like it, knowing that in about 15 minutes youre going to have to get back up because you wont be able to fall asleep until you go pee.

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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Inspect the mirrors in store changing rooms in case they are one-way glass. Make faces into mirror as if you know they're back there.

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(2) When listening to someone I maintain eye contact, but don't actually hear a word they say, just thinking about the eye contact...

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When I have a good dream I can't remember it the day after, but I can remember another dream I had a year ago.

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Press the Microwave open button at 0:01 to feel like you defused a bomb and avoided that stupid beeping.

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wonder if anyone's watching you and try to seem like a decent person

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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Open Fridge, look around for few seconds, say to self - 'What the f*** am I doing?'

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Think about awesome stuff that you could do (e.g beating up someone who steals your gf's purse or something) when listening to music

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.