Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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Think of the best come-backs ever, a few seconds after the time to use them would be.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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Mix my coffee with the spoon upside down.

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try to cut corners in my house and hit the wall

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Create my response for the whole conversation before even having it

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I make it sound like i'm ordering for more than one person when I'm really only getting fast food for myself.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I really like taking shits.

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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in my mind prisms are called pink floyd.

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I am wearing ear buds even though I'm not actually listening to anything.

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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wonder how old the people r who right these. im 12

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When I'm scared in the shower sing

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Everytime I get in my car at night, I turn the light on and check behind the back seats to see if there's anyone waiting for me. Then lock the doors when all is safe.

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I'm paranoid of EVERYTHING. When I enter a room, I inspect it for cameras. When I'm in the bathroom I cover all the cameras on my iPod, Phone, etc. When I do something I'm not supposed to do on the computer (such as download music for free), I cover the webcam to assure the government can't see me. I control my thoughts 24/7 at fear that someone will read my thoughts. I have a strict feeling the someone is always watching me. I fear subliminal advertisements also. To sum everything up you could just read the first part. I DONT TRUST ANYTHING OR ANYONE! I'm Not sure if anyone else is as paranoid as I am...

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Love an outfit on others/mannequin, but hate it on me!

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FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAPFAP FAP ::TROLLFACE::

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.