get scarred shit less when some one burst though your door when it tacky

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Whenever your going down a flight of stairs with two rails, hold the two rails and go from the top step to the bottom.

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When I am walking and accidentally touch a strangers hand I pretend it never happened -Marquez, P

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"Hey, did you see that new episode last night?" "Yeah!" "Do you remember that part when he ran through the city?" "Yeah!" LIES

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Leave the television on in my room when I go to bed, so I have some light and I can't hear all the creepy sounds that houses make.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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When I hear the doorbell ringing and I'm not expecting anyone, I turn off the tv/music and try not to make any sound, so they think there's no one home.

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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Tape your dick to your leg to fit into tight pants

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Be talking to someone about something random, then a few days later or so... something very relevant to that happens, then you think to yourself "I'm sure I can tell the future"... I'm very confident that, that is just me...

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Wally,you mean Obamney is the only choice?

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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I ejaculate fire and glory

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You laugh to yourself when you think you are alone in a street but then you notice somebody in a car looking at you.

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go to the bathroom, turn on the hot water, get undressed so that the water has time to heat up

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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When I fart I immediately go 'Eww. Who farted? That's gross'. And I blame it on someone else, always works :)

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A stranger makes me mad. Spend all day thinking about badass things that I should have done/said.

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Sometimes I see on the clock, the seconds needle go back 1 second and then never do that again for the rest of the day/week or whenever I'm staring at the clock for it to happen again. -Mike

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When I eat M&Ms, Skittles or Froot Loops, I always make sure to leave one of every color for the end so I could eat them all at once. #rainbowinmymouth

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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shag your mom

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Purposely save one piece of homework untill Sunday night in case you want to get out of doing something boring.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.