Reherse jokes/phrases to say to friends in school tomorrow

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When changing the volume one my computer it has to be a multiple of 2

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See someone thats so hot all you can think about is seeing them naked all day.

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I'm so afraid of using words incorrectly that I look up any word I'm not sure that I'm using properly before typing it into wherever I'll use it. If the definition is too vague, I abandon the word and try something else.

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When I'm doing a spelling test, I spell a word and read it over and over again until it loses its meaning.

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When peeing, if I get pee on the seat I will flush the toilet before wiping it and then see if I can quickly wipe it and toss the toilet paper in the toilet before it finishes flushing.

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Have a dream about falling and never stop falling and it feels real

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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being a mid-teenager, never having a relationship before and don't care at all.

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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On YouTube, if someone comments a time in the video (or in the description) I always click it for fun, even if it doesn't work. Like if someone comments "it's 4:12 right now" on a 2 minute video I click the link.

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When the adverts come on I forget what I'm watching and so spend five minutes trying to remember.

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I use chopsticks or disposable latex gloves to eat sandwiches, chocolate, basically any finger food, because in my opinion, it's impossible to get that greasy, sticky film off my fingers.

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I like to poo while smoking.

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When telemarketers call I speak Afrikaans to them until they hang up

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wondering if everyone else in the world can read your mind so you avoid thinking about specific things

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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avoid going in the handicap bathroom stall because you're afraid someone will see you cause it's so big

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When I'm crying i look in the mirror to see what i look like while I'm crying

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Whenever I'm throwing trash down the garbage chute or into a dumpster, I all of the sudden am terrified that I accidentally threw out a valuable ring/my cell phone with the trash.

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Clicking Yes to "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service" without reading one word of that stupid thing.

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Always look down at the floor or avoiding any kind of eye contact when your getting told off for something really bad

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Pretend it doesn't hurt when someone I try for rejects me, but it does hurt, a lot.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.