i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Open my mouth while doing my mascara... it's impossible not to!!!

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when you're fapping and thinking about someone, you either get a text from them moments later, or stop thinking about them because you feel like they are reading your mind.

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Tear up when I poop

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I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

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When I'm walking on pavement or tiles I always make patterns, e.g stepping on every second tile, stepping a certain amount of times on each bit of pavement

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Whenever someone enters a pin number I always try to see how many number I can remember

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humiliating little girls

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Count how many steps there are in a stairwell I use often and then try to take it by same number each time... Eg if there are 16 then always go by twos and missing the others!?!?!?

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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Until just recently, I thought apple juice was made by the pee of the company. Just that they added sugar.

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I talk to inanimate objects daily.

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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I talk through my teeth when i am talking to my pets.

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.