I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Get soo scared in the shower when your home alone that you are scared to open the curtain just incase somebody is out tthere

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Think something you shouldn't about someone, stop thinking about it in case they read your mind, and then, as an added precaution, think "I know you listening".

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A lot of times I believe things I see or things that happen are "signs" of something.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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While I Am on the computer late at night, my Mum tells me to go to bed, I say I will in a second. I stay for a few more minutes, my mum tells me again, I do the same thing...

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

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Cheak the fridge every 5 minuets waiting for food to just "magicly" appear

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

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Pretending you're a badass character from an anime or movie when listening to rock music (or something similar)

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When your talking to a hot girl and then picture her naked with you in bed but then stop thinking about that because you think she can read your mind

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.