I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Having the tv on always, just for background noise. Doesn't work with a computer/laptop, must be the tv.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

thumb_up thumb_down +4

1. When you're downstairs at night you go upstairs as fast as fucking possible. 2. When you switch volume in TV, the second number has to be 0 or 5.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Leave those last one or two sheets of toilet paper after taking a crap just so you don't have to replace it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I don't read the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

It's hot but I still have on covers

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When it's as quiet as possible in the classroom in the middle of the period and everyone is silently doing their work.... I suddenly think of something REALLY funny and spend the next half hour awkwardly grinning trying my hardest not to burst out uncontrollably.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <<

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When I look at a clear blue sky, I'm convinced that I see little tiny floaty things, and think that I'm seeing air molecules.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Pay attention to commercial breaks to see if there is ever a break without an advertisement about cars or new movies coming out

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Play with my own boobs for no reason

thumb_up thumb_down -39

i masturbate with my feet

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I spin around in a spot, and then close my eyes and tilt my head up and to the opposite side i'm spinning to. It just feels awesome and it's even better while listening to music.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

After eating a sandwich, eat the leftover sesame seeds one-by-one.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I always ask myself "Why am I me?". But have never come up with a good answer.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.