When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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I love touching, squeezing and occasionally biting my dog's (read: any dog's) muzzle. I love the texture and the gummy-ness. I also love how pissed he gets when I do it and sneezes after.

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When I was younger I'd lay in bed & think about who I would pick if a person told me that I had to choose between 2 people and the 1 that I don't choose will die.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Whenever I hear a baby or a young child scream very loud, I imagine that their head will explode.

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Listening to a song, thinking about having the life of the singer in the band

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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I find it easiest to read or study while sitting on the toilet.

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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when im alone i pretend to sniper zombies out my bedroom window

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Be a loner at school

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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I sometimes chew on the inside of my cheek

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Sometimes I would just be thinking to myself and then think of something funny and laugh but I don't share it with anyone else makes me look insane.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.