think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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Imagine punching someone you hate in the face, but when you see them in person you think "Oh s***!!!!" and hide.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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try and open the microwave right before it finishes.

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Believing in the kindness of strangers

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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check to see if post has any likes right after posting it. then have second thoughts about it.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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I piss in the bed every night

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Realized with 7 billion people, there is a chance that someone else on earth is doing exactly the same thing as me at any given time.

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Thinking that out there, on this earth in a lost city, there is an awesome clone of you.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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You think about all the stupid things you did in elementary school and avoid anyone who went to your elementary school in high school.

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I have a band in my head that performs for me every time I listen to music.

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Fantasize about shooting one of those trucks that have some sort of liquid in them and watching them blow up.

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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Spend ages searching for a porno (normally about 40 minutes), search through it for the best bit, finish and think "what was the point of all that"

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Pretend the legs of a chair are the barrels of a mini gun while moving them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.