- Things You Think Only You Do

I hold my breath in elevators

We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

Add numbers on license plates of cars around me while waiting at a light.

acting as if you can shoot with a banana

When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

I tend to ignore phone calls, even when I know the phone call could be important.

When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

Think of all the perverted and disgusting things that I'd like to do to the women at work then feel bad for being a vile and disgusting person, then kind of feel turned on anyway lol.

getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

Being fat

I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

I have to sleep with my bottom lip stuck to the pillow or my hand so I can breathe.

Vigorously scratch my head over a black surface and watch the dandruff fall like snowflakes....then eat it.

When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

Know almost every line from spongbob episodes.

After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

I really hate the sound of sqeaking balloons

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.