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When you are reading a book and find that you are narrating the words you read in the book, to yourself. You feel weird, so you try to stop doing this by reading further or focusing more on the book.

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No ones home. Go to youtube and do karaoke. Can the neighbors here me? Guess im not talking to them ever again...

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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Picking my nose.

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start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY GLENDA!!!

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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stare at someone then when they turn around look all around the room pretending you weren't looking at them

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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Laying in bed at a friends place with your eyes closed imaging where you would end up if you got up and went to the toilet as if it was your own house.

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Lightly touching your stomach or other body parts with your fingers to get that tickling sensation.

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When you look at the sidewalk and try to step on the boxes instead of the lines, and feel like you need to do it a number of times per leg to make it even.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.