When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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I pretend I'm a really popular YouTuber and talk to nobody thinking they're my subscribers.

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I fill my bathtub up with marinara and then sit curled up in it and pretend that I am a meatball.

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I get more creeped out the more I read the comments here, especially as the comments start getting really low thumbs ups.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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When I'm walking in the street and I hear a car coming from behind I try to beat it by running to the closest telephonepole.

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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When I'm around people, I sometimes yell in my head "STOP READING MY MIND! I KNOW YOU'RE DOING IT, SO STOP!" just in case.

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When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

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Walking around on the streets wondering if you are really walking in place, and the earth is spinning according to how you walk, like a treadmill.

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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Everytime my sibling starts a sentance with "I remember when","I have an idea"etc.,I get up and walk out.

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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Stop at the beginning of an escalator, and let the stairs drag you forward by just your toes.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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I cant ride a bike

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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The power to put a pointless super power on thingsyouthinkonlyyoudo.com

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When masturbating at night, looking at the window paranoid that someone is watching. But stopping or moving out of view.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.