We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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Pretend i'm a sim.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Eat a biscuit realise how nice it is and eat the whole packet

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When I was a kid and I misbehaved when my dad used to smack me I would put emphasis in my cries to let him think that I got the lesson.

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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I hate being called "buddy".

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I pretend that my pillow is the love of my life and kiss it and cuddle it before bed.

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Keep trying to defend your point even after you've realized you're wrong in an argument

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i feel all weird and sad when i thing about my old belongings.

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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When I find a new song I like, I listen to it over and over and over; >>Until I run that sh*t into the ground.

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.