getting really nervous about random white vans that drive by you.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Sometimes when I'm bored I start shouting things in German.

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When the toilet paper falls to the floor, I quickly roll it again so nobody notices it.

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When your watching a YouTube video and you have to watch an AD, you mute it and turn your head away because your just that pissed off at the company.

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When alone and listening to music I pretend that I am the artist and dance around the room like its the music video or I am on stage.

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log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Without thinking i ask questions i know the answer to

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Make odd grunting noises and sighs of relief while going #2.

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Wishing you were living in that time when men were still gentlemen. Holds doors, brings flowers, chooses you over job.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I use my magic powers to give shaddy politicians their comeuppance (I don't have any magic powers lol)

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Hate when people ask "do you have a bathroom?" It's like "no we crap in the yard!"

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after dialing a number and clicking "call" constanly rehearse what your going to say when the other person picks up the line

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I randomly hold my boobs in my room.

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fart and then breathe it in really quick hoping no one else smells it first

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Play with my own boobs for no reason

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Eating chicken at KFC.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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i masturbate with my feet

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.