....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Avoid eating at parties to look as though you're not hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -93

(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

thumb_up thumb_down -95

You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

thumb_up thumb_down -107

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Run faster down hotel corridors.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Tells a joke only you thought was funny and still laughs then laughs harder because your the only one laughing nikki

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Analyzing what could be wrong or false about your religion and God, then shooing the thoughts away in fear you won't get into Heaven.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Get somewhat worried about myself if I'm thumbed down on THIS SITE.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I wonder if sport games are rigged?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do a little half laugh, then when someone looks at you, you realise that it wasn't even funny so you pretend to be clearing your throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

When no one is home, I poop with the door open, just because I can.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Mayada stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

thumb_up thumb_down

it is not disgusting to bite your toe nails, it is a skill

thumb_up thumb_down

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.