Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Whenever I pull a long hair from my vagina or butt, it feels good.

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For some reason some guy at the office started calling me "Biggus Dickus" and that became my nickname from there on... ...Cant help but smirk whenever my female employees gather and ask one another "But what is that Biggus Dickus guys real name? Is he really "Biggus Dickus? Such a strange name, should we call him Biggus Dickus or? etc" Nero the clit collector: AND THEY WONDER WHY I REFUSE TO TELL THEM MY REAL NAME XD They even have bets to see which one can guess "Biggus Dickus`s" real name... ...WHAT? YOU COLLECT STAMPS! THATS TWICE AS CRUEL... Besides you got like ten, I got about 300.005.

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The only time I seem to look at the clock is when the numbers read my birth date.

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Fall down the stairs, bounce on your ass to the bottom, feel scared, then want to DO IT AGAIN! Get pwned at a game, rage, look at your cat sitting beside you, looking back, and say "What?"

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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After reading something from this site, I find myself compelled to try it.

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I have won so many competitions online for things like being the 99, 999th visitor on the site

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Have one of those days where you think it is just a dream but then reality takes over

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I like to think I'm a Lion or cat.

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I was not born in the country I am living in now

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I have memorized my drivers license registration number

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Rubbing your scalp and watching your dandruff fall like snowflakes

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

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Chew as quietly as possible when eating cookies but as loud as possible when eating fruit.

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Drink out the carton (your whole family prob does it)

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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When playing a game you refer to the kid you don't know as "kid" - ar2

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.