doesn't eat meal until desired tv show starts.

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only read the short jokes on this website

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When I'm sitting on the toilet, I try to make piss and crap come out at the same time.

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after taking a dump i always still smell a little bit of poop and i wonder if other people smell it too

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Smoking in the shower.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Wonder who decide what news stories we see and don't see?

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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When in class , I move alot in my chair when my butt itches .

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Paranoid someone is reading your mind, so you think something weird to see if they look at you

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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I strum my fingers on my other hand between the fingers on the other hand which is a fist to make a popping sound (Try it, it's really fun)

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carry my cat by holding it's front and back legs

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Wonder if the life your living is one long dream and your gonna wake up and be some type of alien.

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everytime i see a jet stream in the air i pretend that i can shoot a missile with my finger tip that is self guided and tracks down the airplane that made that certain jet stream.

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Burglars have become very clever. Just last night my wife turned to me and said that she hears burglars downstairs so I got up quietly checked every room suddenly I realised that I don't have a wife.

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Only use the left earphone.

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I twerk in the mirror to see how much my ass jiggles

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I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.