log out of any social network sites so that when im on a website it doesnt somehow send messages to my profile

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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When watching TV shows, I always think about what I would have done differently if I was the character in that particular situation.

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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If I have to get up early the following day I will surprisingly wake up early even without an alarm

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I never feel bored

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When walking around a slightly empty store, I walk around and pretend I'm a spy, trying not to be seen.

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put wood glue on my hand, blow it dry and peel it off to make fake skin

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if your listening to music, move the volume up and down to experience the bass a lil better

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When at someone else's house, trying to use the bathroom, keep a very close eye on the door just to make sure nobody's gonna walk in on you...

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Have a sudden urge to say "bomb" at an airport.

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When people are walking behind me I automatically think they are staring at my ass and get self-conscious.

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I have to stop the Microwave on 0 but before it beeps or I'm not going to get what I want in life. OCD MUCH

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in the morning when you wake up and take a shower you make weird faces to stretch out and "warm up" your face for the day

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If my SOLVE media is too long I refresh it to give me a shorter one

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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OMG have you ever realized that one of your eyes is showing everything more reddish and the other one showing everything more bluish just like these old 3d glasses

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test how many stares you can scale in one step

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when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

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use the hair drier to dry my balls after shower

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Masturbate. Sometimes two or three times a day.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.