Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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get really paranoid when you're in a shop's changing room and try and make sure the curtain is fully closed so nobody can see in

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watch lesbian porn instead of normal because you hate have other men in the picture

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My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

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When you need something from someone and you forget what it's called,So then you have to awkwardly explain it.

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sitting in the passenger seat of the car, move my head around gently to guide a piece of dirt on the window in the foreground around the obstacle course of trees, streetlights etc in the background. Also, imagine my eyes are projecting lasers which cut through anything and carve the passing world up to my design.

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Keep things on my body equal. ex. Hold something in my right hand so I hold something equally heavy in my left hand.

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When i talk i say i like how or i hate that.

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the power to regenerate your appendix

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Surfing nsfw subreddit at work

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Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

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Whenever you make cereal, you eat exactly where you make it like on the table.

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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Swirling your hair through your hair while something is loading.

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I'm ridiculously turned on by the scent nail polish.

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When I meet someone random, and have a small conversation, and then when they leave, I feel sad because I think I am never going to see them again.

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Feel like something is behind you/watching you, run to your room super quickly and get into the room before that something gets you

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Write a word then wonder if it's spelt with an i or and e so just put them both in but do it in such a way that the person reading it won't know whether you didn't know the spelling or misspelled it then realized your mistake and tried to fix it.

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when you read a post that you don't do then start doing it

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Start walking down a busy street or mall, and realise I've gone the wrong way. Suddenly stop and pretend to read something on my phone for a few seconds before turning round and walking the right way.

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Fake an orgasm after only 30 seconds, watch the "wtf" look on her face then laugh hysterically.

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When I get bored of sex and p*rn, I download animal "mating" stuff for variation.

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I eat something and read book/newspaper/magazine at the same time. Then i take food crumbs off the book and eat them too.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.