Lay down in bed and close my eyes and pretend that the bed is slowly levitating towards the ceiling. When I open my eyes, the bed is back on the ground.

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Left alone Big noise, people aren't expected back as soon so grab baseball bat and charge only to find them back early...."what you doing?" "batting my socks around practising my baseball skills"

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

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Drive slow in straightaways and fast through curves, especially sharp ones.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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I chew around the center of carrots.

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Start to cry when your alone, but stop yourself because you don't want to look like a pussy.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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try to make myself sneeze because I like the feeling I get when I do

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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You're taking a poo, and you're bored. You use your thighs as drums to pass the time.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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hover over public toilets and end up leaving a sprinkling of pee that lands uniformly all over on the seat then use a big wad of TP and my foot to wipe down the seat.

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Do somthing only you do

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Right after moving to a new place I check my room for hidden cameras.

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play Simpsons episodes in my head...way too often

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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Smelling food to see if its spicy.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.