You tell your friends that you hate the Rick roll'd song even though you secretly like it.

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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blink

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jump down the stairs when im almost down to save time

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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I go to the fridge, see that there is nothing I want to eat in it, and then go back to it a minute later hoping that something I like has materialized

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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LOG OFF OF ICHAT BECAUSE THE PERSON U WERE JUST TALKING TO WENT OFFLINE.

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Going to the bathroom in public just to scratch my butt

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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Thinking about a situation someone else in the world might be in. For example, Someone dying and the pain they must be going through.

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Whenever I think of something creative or weird, I always wonder if someone thought of the same thing.

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Whenever Terminator 2 is on tv, I become enthralled and can't stop watching even though I've seen it a million times.

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I hum the MLP:FIM theme and hope no one recognizes the tune.

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Imagine a little person trapped and about to be crushed in the progress bar.

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When dunking oreos I like to hold it under the milk and watch the bubbles til they stop

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Always have your feet under the cover, and if not, you think that something will get you.

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The older I get the more honest I get

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Being able to think about great ideas for the world, but not being able to get a math problem done.

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Pretend I'm a back-up dancer or singing a duet with the singer of the song I'm listening to.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I feel strange when I look at someone and think ''This person has had sex''

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.