Stand on the first floor and look up through the 2nd story railing just to look up women's skirts.

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Use a signature that automatically gets me hundreds of red thumbs... Yeah that moral crap...

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rub your face on your legs after shaving to feel how smooth they are.

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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....you're high and you think you write complete bullshit?

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Putting pressure on my closed eyes and seeing fireworks behind my eyelids

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Sometimes I wonder why I smell even though I remember putting DO on. I become embarrassed because there is a girl next to me. I hope she cannot smell it. Finally I realize its not me. It's her.

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Go to fart while you have the flu, only to find out it wasn't a fart at all....

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I sometimes deliberately miss buses or trains even though I could easily board them.

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If i've been thinking about a particular person a lot, afterwards if people are telling a story or describing a scenario, I always picture the person I was thinking of before as the person as the main character in their story/scenario.

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Nodding while talking on the phone then remembering the person can't see you

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worry about getting a little butt sweat mark on a chair if you've been sitting in it too long while its hot.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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While at the movies, grab and eat your popcorn with your tongue and pretend you are a lizard.

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When I hear footsteps approaching while I'm sitting on the toilet, I'm getting ready to jump at the door in case I actually forgot to lock it.

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Have to have a certain light in the bathroom to poop. Also, nobody can be anywhere near me.

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Never eat curry before school otherwise you will have a massive poo

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whenever i'm holding a kitchen knife, i feel super weird like i'm gonna stab someone.... its not like i would ever do that, but i think about what would happen if i just impaled the person that is standing near me with a huge knife.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

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When I get in the car I look in the backseat for monsters or psychopathic killers and as I am turning to check I say out loud 'Oh, maybe my book is in the backseat, let me check' so the monster or killer doesn't know I'm really looking back there for them. That way they might not kill me.

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It takes me a whole afternoon to write an important/professional email cause i keep thinking about what I should and should not write and it gets so stupidly difficult I take one hour breaks between every sentence.

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.