- Things You Think Only You Do

I think Frozen is an overrated film

Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

when you wake up in the morning to a text and you read it with one eye open

Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

Only use the left earphone.

I love the tingly feeling you get when youve shifted after realizing you arm, leg, hand, etc. has gone numb. am i the only one?

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

Wipe a soda can after somebody else in my family drinks out of it just in case I get sick or I may feel there spit.

Inspect the shower, bath or toilet, then washing it until you believe it is suitable to use.

Courtesy flush.

watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

Think of something to post but cant put it into words.

I always have trouble leaving a airplanes lavatory I never get the door open

I have memorized my drivers license registration number

YEET! TURN UP! KEEP IT ONEHUNNIT DADDY!! YAS GAGA YASS!! SIGN ME UP FOR THAT!! PU$$Y ON FLEEK!! PULLOUT GAME STRONG! LARRY IS REAL!! IMMA LET YOU FINISH!! IMMA REAL G! HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGSHIT!!!!!! I SAID HA! BITCH WHERE??? GIVE ME SOME ASS!! WHAT ARE THOOOSE!!! WHERE THEY AT THO?! BITCH BETTA HAVE MUH MONEY! FCK HER RIGHT IN THE PSSY! EAT THAT BOOTY LIKE GROCERIES!!!!! SURFBOARD! IM NOT GAY NO MORE! WHO'S YOUR DADDY? HOW YOU LIKE DEM APPLES?!! QUEEN! SLAY!

I TALK WITH PEDOBEAR ABOUT OUR BUSINESS ;)

Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

when you are at home doing something then all of a sudden you imagine how you would take down a killer if he came into your home right now. just me?

What do you call a rapist in your house? Your father.

(okay maybe not a thing I do but something I noticed) When people call themselves "Writers" In today's world you know that might not be the case because we have computers so shouldn't they be called typers?

send a text to some one and act like you "meant" to send it to someone else.

I find that whenever I go somewhere it always seems to take longer than when I come back home

I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.