Pretending to use the force while a door closes behind you, then thinking your brilliant :) -Tim.

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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think of who i would kill if i found out i only had a few weeks to live. i.e. sickest criminal alive.

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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Air guitar to a song of how you think it would be on a Guitar Hero game.

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Use my phone to see what time it is

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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Run into a wall and say "I'm sorry" and then realize that it's just a wall.

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Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

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I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

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Whenever I drop food on the floor I get my dog to come clean it for me

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Imagining how it would feel to switch bodies with your crush

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I feel that getting a 98 on a test is better than getting a 99.

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Sometimes when I'm laughing really hard I awkwardly clap my hands.

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Imagine I'm being filmed in a reality TV show just so I could do something productive or interesting.

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.