Thinking something embarrassing, then having to talk to someone and suddenly getting worried you are about to blurt out your thoughts

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Sometimes when I fart while sitting down, I lift one leg up.

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Manage to be more AWESOME! THAN YOU IN EVERY SINGLE WAY! YES YOU! YOU DONT HIDE FROM ME! YEAH CHANGE THE PAGE LIKE THE PUSSY YOU ARE, COME OVER HERE INTO THE SCREEN (NOT HOME IM NAKED AND NOT IN THE MOOD FOR RAPING NOW SO YEAH ANYWAY) MORAL; THE ORIGINAL NOT THE CULT MORAL CODE FUCK ASSHOLE OKAY? DO I SEEM LIKE I WANT A CULT? OR THAT I JUST WANT TO CHAINSAW THE HEAD OF YOUR DOG AND PACK IT IN A NICE GIFT BOX FOR YOU? HUUUUUH!?

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i wonder why someone decided to spell words unusually for example why couldn't because be spelt becuz the way it sounds?!

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Tell myself that I'm only going for a 20 minute nap and end up sleeping for 1/+ hour(s)...

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Every time you use a vending machine you hope you get lucky and 2 things drop down.

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Turn shower water all the way up hot before getting out because it feels good

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I have an irrational fear of automatic flushing toilets.

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I am 23 and I know how to spell "STORK"

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Imagine your in action movies and die for a girl while your lying there trying too sleep and realising you are deep in thought about something that your too chicken to do.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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wait til the last second to stop the microwave before it dings

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Think it's awesome when I look at a clock and it reads the same numbers that my address starts with.

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Not eat French fries because I don't like the taste rather than because they are unhealthy?

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Try to move your head to line up specks on the windshield with objects outside.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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Go outside to meet a friend but he cancelled so you stay in your garage so your parents don't know you're there

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When im home alone, i watch porn with the volume turned up really loud.

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i masturbate with my feet

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Courtesy flush.

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Read the time on your watch, then after a few minutes, read it again because you forgot it.

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Make calculations with house number. Eg: House nº 112 means house nº 4

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standing at the mall with your group talking, you all decide to start walking to a store, start to follow but half the group stays behind for a few seconds then they start walking, walk a slower pace only to find out that you're in the middle of your split groups e.g. 3 in front 4 behind...dont know which one to merge to......wait for your group to collaborate back together.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.