I stick used soap to a new soap so I don't waste it.

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acting as if you can shoot with a banana

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When I'm home alone at night I check around the corners to make sure there isn't anyone there

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Stop singing about weed when you see a cop car.

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I always have to remake my bed right before going to sleep in it

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after seeing toy story, and watching that toys moved and talked to each other when the humans werent around, thinking that toys are really like that when you gone, and when you go back to you room, the toys rush back into their spots.

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When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

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Counting down on a digital clock, trying to say "0" just as the time changes.

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Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When you are in a car and a sad song comes on look out the window and pretend you are in a movie.

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Realizing that I can just yell out the word "Fuck!" and no one can stop me.

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.