take 2 coffes in 2 seconds cause dont remember the first coffee! o.O

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Get turned on when you see a girl yawn

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think up the funniest jokes right before i go to sleep and cant think of them the next day

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Flush the toilet before you finish peeing

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when im in the toilet and invent something in my mind and dont have a pen and paper to wright my invention and when im done i forget about it...

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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I make weird crazy faces at myself in the mirror whenever I leave the bathroom.

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Put the porn sound in a really low volume even when you have headphones, just to make sure noone can hear it. Then take off the headphones once in a while to check if it sounds too loud.

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Check every spoon fork and knife in the silverware drawer for spots or old food before you choose which one to eat with

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I like to turn the lights off in the bathroom, actually block every little bit of light I possibly can, then take a nice warm shower, curl up on the floor, block my ears and enjoy the warm water and sensory deprivation.

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read on youtube comments with too unlikes

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Sometimes I pee sitting down and act like i'm a girl.

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click your pen off of your desk and make it hop in the air

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after you've been in a fight i usually think up some epic move i could've done instead.

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I can't step on the cracks of sidewalks.

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I try to say something, but a bunch of people are talking at the same time so I yell at them to shut up and as soon as I say something I realize I was wrong so I say"okay" as calm as possible to keep from looking like a douche

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When you see someone you know in a shopping centre and you pretend that you didnt see them at all because you cant be bothered striking up a conversation.

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Go to bed with my left nostril clogged, wake up with my right nostril clogged.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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i talk to myself in the mirror just to see how i look when im talking to somebody else, i even practice faces and my laugh (i should get a life)

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Sometimes I turn on my bedroom fan at night just so i can use heavier blankets.

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I just saw the D in Disney for the first time ever. My brain always saw a backwards G. I knew it was supposed to be a D, I just never bothered to fix it. There has been a G there my whole life.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.