After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Playing a sad song that talks about your current situation and then looking in the mirror or out the window pretending you are in a sad music video.

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.don't congratulate someone on facebook until someone other does, because maybe it's a fail.

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Constantly hearing your name in public and asking "did you just hear my name?"

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When reading some of the weirder things here, I somewhat worry some of these things people do might start happening to me just because I read about them.

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sometimes i feel like the person i look at in the mirror is not my own reflection

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I doodle on everything I get that can be doodled on, even my exams :)

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get happy as sh*t when you remember your homework is do after your lunch period so you can do it then, but never end up doing it.

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Leave the fan on at night just in case you feel to warm.

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Glance at your friend beside you, smile to yourself, and think, "I could murder them."

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I take a poop and then stand up to pee because I'm a man

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Mayada stupid

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Sometimes I have something I want to do and then walk into the room to do it in and forget exactly what I was trying to do, it usually involves the kitchen so I just look in the refrigerator then leave and then remember what it is I wanted to do.

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when i wake up from a dream and it was an amazing dream. then i try to fall back asleep to have it again...it doesn't work

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I know how to Gleek on command. (Don't know what it is just look it up.)

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Tryng to run away from, or at least be faster than my shadow.

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When you do something really cool but no one is there to see it and it's pointless to try and tell them about it because they don't believe you

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Complimenting a girl awkwardly,and then smiling stupidly later and thinking of alternate versions of the conversation that happened!!

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I mean Diana Ross.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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thinking "what if people can read my mind" then cant stop thinking dirty things about people around me

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.